Be Gentle With Your Pain: Alternatives For Those Hurting

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Child Abuse: Detection And Prevention Strategies In The Home

Child Abuse: Detection And Prevention Strategies In The Home

It’s easy to instinctually be gentle with others whenthey  are  in  pain  or  need  comfort.  Yet,  when  itcomes to yourself, you may be at a complete loss ofhow  to  be  gentle  with  yourself.  You  may  feelcompletely undeserving of gentleness and compassion.Instead of turning to starving, bingeing, purging, or anyother kind of self-injurious behavior, promise yourselfthat  you  will  treat  yourself  with  tender  compassion.Promise yourself  that you will  unconditionally acceptexactly  where  you are  in  your  processs.  Do not  walkaway  from  yourself  while  you  are  hurting  so  badlyinside… Be there for yourself

Below is a list of gentle things you can do for yourself to help you through your pain…

*Accept  where  you  are  in  your  process.  This  meansaffirming to yourself: “I am in pain right now. There aremany  things  that  have  wounded  me  deeply.  Thesewounds have not yet healed; it is okay to feel this pain.Getting in touch with my pain,  feeling it,  and sittingwith it for a time is what will lead me to heal. I will beokay, even though I may not feel like I am okay rightnow: I will be okay.

*Quiet  the critic  in your head. Tell  the critical  voiceinside  yourself  that  you  have  heard  enough  from  it.Teach it to respect you. Tell your critical voice that youwill no longer listen to its hurtful messages. Tell it thatyou will be listening to the soft loving voice of yourheart  instead.  Then  connect  with  the  voice  in  yourheart.  What  does  it  tell  you  about  your  pain?  Whatthings does it suggest you do? In what direction doesyour heart guide you? Does it  tell you to honorr yourprocess?  Does  it  tell  you  to  be  true  to  your  innerfeelings and spend time with them? Does it tell you togive yourself a break from them by taking a  peacefulwalk or listening to music?

*Cry it soothes the pain. Just curl up in a comfortable spotand cry your heart out. You most likely have a lot of tearsin you that have never been cried. Now that the dam ofself  destructive  thinking  and  behavior  is  no  longerblocking  your  tears,  you  are  free  to  cry  them.  Cryingensures that your spirit does not drown; crying can beginto set you free. Cuddle with a soft teddy bear. No one isever  too old for  the  comfort  offered by  a  plush  stuffedanimal. If you don’t have one, go to a store and look forone that looks friendly and loving. A stuffed animal can beespecially comforting if your pain of the moment is relatedto your childhood. Even if your pain is connected solidlyto the present, the stuffed animal can help you to feel safeand  comforted.  Remind  yourself  that  you  deservetenderness and comfort

* Confide in the pages of your journal. Pour your heart outinto its pages. Bear your soul. Write about the things thattorment your being. Let your thoughts and feelings flowfrom the end of your pen and form into expressive words.Sometimes writing about your thoughts and feelings cansometimes  provide  you  with  tremendous  relief.  Manypeople find that they can write things that they cannot say.Maybe you would like to share your writing with someoneclose  to  you.  Perhaps  you  would  like  to  bring  it  intotherapy with you. Sometimes it helps to feel as though atleast  one other person in the  world knows how you are feeling.

• Risk… try telling another person how you feel while you are feeling that way. Share your secrets,  your heartache,and  your  shame  with  a  safe  person  in  a  safe environment… perhaps in therapy. It is truly an amazing experience to share your inner most self with someone and find out that they will not walk a way from you. It can be a frightening thing to do, but the rewards can be incredible,too. Perhaps you would like to try.Perhaps you have obligations that you must meet, which prevent  you  from  allowing  yourself  to  fully  experience your feelings. Promise your heart that you will attend to it later. Imagine wrapping it in a soft, warm blanket to keep it safe and comfortable until you are able to come back,and  spend  time  with  it  while  tenderly  attending  to  its wounds.

Remember pain requires time in order to heal. Some painrequires more healing time than others. Promise yourselfthat you will walk through it no matter how long it takes.There is light at the end of the path; there is wellness. Painis  an  inevitable  part  of  living and  loving  in  this  world.Remember that all pain is legitimate and has a purpose. Somany times we feel  unentitled to our pain and feelings.Feeling unentitled leads us to push them away, reject them,or  bury  them.  You  are  entitled  to  all  of  your  feelings;embrace them. They are what make you whole.

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